The Dutch public mental health system refers couples to approved providers with long waits and sessions in Dutch. Private English-speaking couples therapy exists in Amsterdam and The Hague but the options for depth-oriented work are limited.
I work with couples who need to work in English and are living in the Netherlands. The relocation that changed the balance. The relationship that was fine until the external structure was gone. Something that's been there for years and finally feels urgent. Something neither of you can trace to a beginning.
Couples work is about finding the cycle you're caught in, not adjudicating who's right. The move, the asymmetry, the same argument in different forms: these have a structure. When you can see it from outside, it stops feeling like fate.
The work
The work I do is relational and pattern-focused. I don't run through intake checklists or assign exercises between sessions. I pay attention to what happens in the room: what you're saying, what you're not saying, the moments when something shifts or goes flat or speeds up. That's the material we work with.
Most people arrive already knowing the story of their situation. They've told it to themselves a hundred times and always land in the same place. What's missing is a different angle, someone watching in real time who can name what's invisible from inside it. That's what I offer. Not interpretation from a distance, but attention in the room, offered as it happens.
I work with individuals and couples. Individual work is usually about finding the pattern underneath the presenting problem, the thing that keeps recurring in different forms across different circumstances. Couples work is about finding what the argument is really about, which is rarely what it appears to be about. Both come down to the same thing: seeing what you haven't been able to see, and from there, actually being able to do something different.
Being in Netherlands
The Netherlands has a specific effect on couples who relocate here together. The practical ease of the country makes it harder to name why something feels difficult. The Dutch directness can be steadying or isolating depending on who you are. If one person landed in a functioning professional life and the other is still trying to find footing, that asymmetry has weight.
What couples bring to online therapy
Couples I work with come for recurring conflict, communication problems, infidelity and broken trust, emotional distance, codependency, resentment, sexless marriage, attachment issues, and the strain of major life transitions. Online marriage counseling and relationship therapy in English make it possible to do this work without geographic limits, whether you need a couples therapist, a marriage counselor, or relationship counseling that goes deeper than communication exercises.
How it works
Sessions are online via secure video call. I work with individuals and couples (60 minutes). Before your first session, we have a brief 15-minute call to see if this feels like the right fit for you.