The In-Between
What follows is how I understand and approach this issue in my work with clients.
Therapy for the in-between: graduate students, academics, and people stuck in an uncertain professional limbo. A therapist for academic stress and pressure understands this specific kind of stuck.
There’s a particular psychological experience that almost nobody talks about, because the people living it don’t have time, and the people around them don’t quite understand it. It’s the experience of being a postdoc.
You’ve finished the PhD. You survived something that most people can’t even conceptualize: years of underpaid, under-recognized intellectual labor with no guarantee of outcome. And now you’re… doing it again. In a different lab. In a different country, maybe. With a slightly better title and the same ambient dread about what comes next.
Nobody congratulates you for being a postdoc. They congratulate you for what a postdoc might lead to.
The weight of permanent temporariness
Postdoctoral life is structurally designed to keep you in suspension. Your contract is temporary. Your future is conditional. Your value is measured in outputs you haven’t produced yet. And meanwhile, you’re expected to do world-class research, teach, mentor, network, publish, apply for grants, and somehow also have a life, all while knowing that the position you’re working toward may not exist when you’re ready for it.
And if you’re doing this in a country that isn’t home, the disorientation deepens. Your social world is thin. Your support systems are back in a time zone you can’t easily reach. Your local colleagues are friendly but have their own lives. You’re floating.
What’s actually underneath
Here’s what I see when I work with people in this stage of life: the presenting problem is usually anxiety, or burnout, or a relationship that’s under strain. But underneath, there’s almost always a deeper question that nobody has given them permission to ask out loud.
Questions like: What if I don’t actually want the faculty position I’ve spent a decade preparing for? What if I’m not burnt out: what if I’m just doing the wrong thing? What if the problem isn’t that I need to be more productive, but that I’ve organized my entire identity around productivity and it’s finally breaking down?
These are not signs of weakness. They’re signs of intelligence. Your psyche is trying to tell you something your CV can’t hold.
My approach doesn’t start with symptom management. I’m interested in the tension between who you’re performing and who you actually are. In our sessions, I’m tracking that in real time, where you come alive, where you go flat, where you tighten and start managing instead of speaking. Not as a technique. As a way of being together that gradually makes it safe to stop performing.
Want to talk about this?
I work with academics, postdocs, and expats stuck in exactly this kind of in-between.
Schedule a Free ConsultationA brief conversation to see if this feels like the right fit for you. Not therapy.
You don’t have to wait until you’re somewhere permanent to start being honest
One of the quiet tragedies of postdoc life is the assumption that everything is temporary, so nothing is worth investing in, including yourself. You’ll deal with the anxiety once you get the position. You’ll work on the relationship once things settle down. You’ll figure out what you want once you know where you’ll be.
But that’s not how it works. The patterns you’re living now are the ones you’ll carry into the next phase. The question is whether you want to arrive there still performing, or whether you want to show up as yourself.
I work online, in English, with clients across Europe and beyond. If you’re a postdoc working in a language and country that aren’t quite yours, and the idea of doing therapy in a second language (or waiting six months for an English-speaking slot) has kept you from starting, this is exactly what I’m here for.
I work with English-speaking academics and professionals living in the space between where they’ve been and where they’re going. I offer individual therapy and couples therapy online in English worldwide. We start with a brief 15-minute call to see if this feels like the right fit for you.
Keep Reading
You’re Not Failing. You’re Disappearing. The Loneliness of Competence I Moved Abroad and I'm Miserable
What Clients Say
“I came in thinking I knew what my issues were. I’d been over them a hundred times. But those were just the things I could already see. Aaron helped me notice what I couldn’t, and that’s where everything actually started to change.”
“I’d been in and out of therapy for years. Different therapists, different approaches, none of it really stuck. Aaron helped me understand more in a few months than all of them combined. And he talked to me like a normal person, not like all this weird therapy-speak.”
“A few years ago I suddenly developed prolonged panic attacks but couldn’t begin to understand what had caused them. Having been in therapy in the past, and being a counseling intern student, I felt I had exhausted my resources trying to figure out “What is wrong with me?” I can honestly say Aaron provides a form of counseling that is difficult to find anywhere else regarding efficacy. Not only has his approach been effective, but he also has provided me a safe space to explore aspects about myself I may not otherwise have felt able to. I cannot recommend him enough as he has helped me feel more myself than ever before.”